Travel Lessons Learned

 

“For all I know there’s more I don’t

Oh the little I have learned

For every year of knowledge gained

Is a negative year I’ve earned”

The Avett Brothers

I always thought as I got older, I would get wiser. It doesn’t always work that way. Just ask Ernest.

Ernest
“Know what I mean Vern?”

On our last trip, it was apparent that there is no correlation between rising age, and a rising IQ. It was as if we had let our inner Harry and Lloyd take over.

Dumb and Dumber I took care of it
Johanna, I took care of it!

Let’s start from the beginning. When we booked our hotel, we thought we had done a great job. The hotel was cheap, breakfast was included in the price, and it had great reviews. The reviews were right. The hotel was clean, they had a great breakfast, and nice staff, but what wasn’t mentioned was the less than ideal location. If  we had done more research, we would have found that our hotel was about a 20-30 minute ride from all the attractions we wanted to see. If we booked a more expensive hotel, closer to the attractions, we actually would have spent less money out of our daily budget. We are clearly much more like Matt Damon’s friends in Good Will Hunting, than Matt Damon himself.

Good Will Hunting
What the @#%*? That’s wicked haaad.

When we booked our flight, we compared prices between Avianca, and Viva Colombia. Viva Colombia had better prices, or so it seemed. Again, research is key. We knew that Viva Colombia was basically like flying with Spirit airlines. What we didn’t realize, was that the size of their “free carry-on” was much smaller than Spirit airlines. Basically, if you wanted to have a free carry-on, it had to be a hand-bag or a backpack. Our carry-on was the same size as many of the backpacks that were allowed on the flight, but since ours was luggage, it had to be checked. Viva Colombia is good for a weekend trip, but if you need more than one change of underwear and a toothbrush, book elsewhere. At the end of the trip, it would have cost us less booking with Avianca. Plus, flying with Avianca is like flying in a time capsule. Food and drinks are included in the price, bags check for free, and the flight attendants are dressed like the Red Hat Society.

Avianca Flight Attendants
Fly with Avianca, and feel like you are flying back to the 1960’s to catch Leonardo DiCaprio.

Last, but not least, make sure you have enough cash to pay for your ride back to the airport. Yeah, common sense, I know.

Knife Electric Socket
I wonder how knives and electric sockets mix. 

About halfway to the airport, we realized we had enough cash to pay for a taxi, but definitely not enough to pay for the hotel’s private transportation. We forgot our ATM cards in Bogota, and they didn’t take credit cards. My plan, offer the driver my shoes, my hat, my sunglasses, and hopefully leave with my underwear, and a shred of dignity. Luckily, Johanna had a much smarter plan. Call the credit card company, get a cash advance, and pay the driver.

When you travel, do your research, so you can fly home in more than just your underwear.

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